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Oftentimes when provoked we say hurtful things to the love of our life, and words said cannot be unsaid. We must, therefore, be mindful of the phrases we use when talking to our partners. We are not even talking about the harsh words that you should not even utter to your enemy but the everyday phrases we say to friends and siblings.
Here are a few examples of phrases we should never say to them.
You're not my mom/dad
It is common to say this when we feel our partner is being too controlling. It could hurt their feelings especially if they have good intentions. A very good way of reacting to their overbearing self is to let them know in clear language how you feel about it.
Perhaps you should go on a diet
Your partner has added a lot of weight lately and you are legitimately concerned about their health. Try to be subtle about it. You can suggest eating healthier together or taking a walk together. The idea is to make it a thing for both parties so that you do not hurt the other person's feelings. Telling them to go on a diet can affect their self-esteem.
I don't care
You most likely would say this in a fit of anger. According to a Rodgers, a sexologist, "Saying that you don't care stimulates a primitive fear of abandonment in most people and can make your partner feel worthless". You should always care about your partner no matter the circumstance and expect the same in return.
My ex used to do this
Almost every person likes to think their partner did not know true love before meeting them. Don't talk about the love of your past. Conversations about exes especially the ones you would always have fond memories of never go down well with your partner so it's best to leave all ex-relationships in the past and give your full devotion to what is in front of you.
I regret choosing you over my ex
Bringing up a former lover or relationship in this context is about the worst thing you can do. This particular phrase has a deep impact on people. The moments you make your partner feel like they're a mistake, a lot of changes from that moment onward. Even if you are at the height of your anger, never say this. Your partner has most probably suffered a lot of backlash for choosing you and sticking with you despite all odds.
Throwing this phrase at them is just the height of insensitivity and an insult to their efforts in keeping the relationship going.
It doesn't matter how angry you are, it is better to throw away things or break things to satisfy your anger, but do not break anyone's heart.
As a side note, do not walk on eggshells around your partner. We can be jocularly blunt and still be sensitive.