Interfaith marriage traditionally called "mixed marriage", is a marriage between spouses professing different religions. Wikipedia.
And this is an issue up for discussion because if not managed well, can be the reason couples seek an end to their union.
Some of the problems with an interfaith marriage include:
- Little or zero support from friends and family: Usually, this is usually one of the first problems that couples in interfaith marriages face.
The friends and family most likely will do all they can to convince otherwise.
They will give several reasons why the marriage is bound to fail, and this is a major problem because they end up projecting their fears into the couples.
Solution: The couple need to take time to fully gain commitment and confidence in their relationship and only introduce when they are fully sure.
There is also a need to shut out as much negativity as they can in the marriage.
When there are challenges, only speak with people that understand what you are going through, so you get the right counsel. - The children religious upbringing: Although most religions have the same spiritual value at its core, the philosophies and belief system differ; and knowing which to pass down the children can be very problematic.
Solution: The couple must agree in advance what the decision is and must also allow the children to understand and respect both religions.
The best would be to let them grow with the understanding that it is okay to choose to practice any and let them understand the belief systems of both.
Most children of interfaith marriages, have more capacity to be tolerable to humans generally. It’s an avenue to teach them to accept people for who they are despite the difference in faith, race, and so on. - Lack of patience & respect: There are going to be times where there are conflicts caused by the different beliefs, and some are going to be irresolvable.
Some days it is inevitable that you get frustrated with the fact that someone you love doesn’t share the same passion you have for your faith.
Solution: You both have to be conscious that there are days where you both won’t agree on certain crucial beliefs of the other person. However, you must understand that you will need to choose to respect and be patient with your partner’s decision on those days.
You need to also know that it’s okay that some issues raised about the other person’s passion will sometimes, not be answerable. Let it go. - Conflict in beliefs: There are certain belief systems that will totally rub the other partner the wrong way. For example, a Muslim will perform certain cleansing rites before praying, while a Christian can walk straight from the toilet to go and pray, or even pray right in the toilet.
A Muslim partner most likely will struggle with this; and a Christian will not understand why this is needed too.
Solution: A thorough understanding of what your partner’s religion entails is needed and the ultimate understanding that some of your concepts will contradict each other is important. - Unrealistic assumptions: Sometimes partners tend to assume that they understand all the faith issues of their other partner and don’t think they will ever have conflicts as regards their different faith.
Solution: Do not discount that there are some decisions that cannot be compromised and never believe that love is enough to conquer all issues that will definitely arise.
Please do not go into an interfaith marriage thinking you will convert the other partner. You must resolve within yourself that your partner most likely won’t change, just as you are not considering changing as well.
photo: Godwin Oisi photography