Everywhere you look, it’s like the emphasis is on finding that love of your life; that it is the key to eternal bliss. It is challenging anywhere in the world to be single in this atmosphere, but it seems even more so in Nigeria.
For one, people pry and ask inappropriate questions. Even well-meaning ones can be insensitive, appointing themselves timekeeper with “Hurry, time is going o”; matchmaker by setting you up on the most unlikely, even ridiculous dates; relationship counsellor with “you can’t be too picky, don’t discard this guy like that” when you both know he can cause your untimely death.
Even your parents drop subliminal messages at every opportunity. Then there are the malicious ones who think that your single status is the AK47 that will destroy you in a fight. With all this pressure from society, family, friends and enemies; it may seem like you cannot be happy being single.
That is a myth. You can be single and happy in Nigeria.
Here’s how.
1. Cheer yourself up Learning to be happy alone is a process, but don’t waste time on negative thoughts. Cook something amazing for yourself; take yourself out on a date; see a funny movie alone. Science has proven that people who are happy while single make the happiest relationships. If you are not looking to date at all, you’ll still be having the time of your life.
2. Be grateful You are only single; not homeless or hungry or fighting for your life. You are not stuck with the wrong person – being suppressed or abused. Let that sink in. Be grateful for what you have; write them down. Gratitude attracts more positive things, so watch as your list grows.
3. Enjoy your freedom while you have it Freedom to occupy the entire bed. Freedom to hang out with anybody you want. Freedom from snoring/ freedom to snore. Freedom from in-laws. Freedom to travel on a whim. Freedom to use your time as you please.
4. Learn something new Use all this free time to learn to play a musical instrument; learn a new language; learn to swim, play tennis, ride a bicycle; take an online course. Improving yourself and discovering new things will give your life a fresh injection of energy and happiness.
5. Meet New People Not necessarily for romance, but because friendships are important. Making new friends can give your life more fullness and give you a confidence boost. With all these new things you’ll be doing, you’ll be coming in contact with more people. Smile, be friendly, pay someone a compliment and start a conversation. You will be able to attract like-minded people and have people to share your new interests with.If you do intend to get into a relationship, remember that you usually find things when you’re not looking. It is the same with relationships.
Be busy enjoying your life and eventually, the right one will come.