1. Now if you can just get up the nerve to post this on your social media, maybe they would get the message... but wouldn’t that affect aso-ebi sales and wedding gifts? This life is not fair.
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Photo Credit: www.someecards.com/kim1389829
It would seem everybody and their dog has an opinion about your wedding.
2. Don’t they realise they are on bridesmaid duty 24/7? Which is how much time you spend talking about wedding stuff but it’s your wedding. And you know they are online; one of them just “Lol’d” someone’s tweet! Rude.
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3. You just told your mother you want a small and intimate wedding and this was her reaction. “Is it my wedding or yours Mummy?” No answer.
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4. Well, at least they’re paying for all the family and 60 years worth of friends they insisted on inviting.
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5. You were over the moon when your fiancé and Mum hit it off, but now they are joint saboteurs of your dream wedding. He just okay’d invites for 70 cousins you don’t even know, and she thinks his idea for an Arsenal pocket square is cute. What is this????
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6. You are still bargaining with your caterer, makeup artist and the limo company and this dude got himself a hoverboard?! Fine. You are trading in his honeymoon ticket. He can hover all the way to Seychelles while the masseuse works out all the stress he has caused.
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7. The Arsenal banner you did NOT sign off on has been delivered. Where is that groom? No, you just want to talk to him, why is everyone being dramatic? *Loads shotgun*
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8. She just tried to change your colours from understated peach and mint; to gold, red and green. Can she just move to Cameroon if she likes their flag so much?
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9. It would appear your pocket and your tastes do not match. What you can afford is giving you a headache. Maybe you can secretly record Boo’s constant singing and send to Don Jazzy in faith.
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10. You have recited this mantra 52 times, but your dreams haven’t received the memo. Oriental Hotel showed up again last night.
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11. You accept that you won’t get your dream wedding, but you’re beginning to see “less privileged” in a whole new light. Help, somebody.
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12. Yes! Now you can afford to add meat to your first stew as a married couple.
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13. She is basically passing off her dream wedding as yours and now she wants to choose your dress too? Here, have a tissue Mum. Pictacular.co
14. You are only reacting to all the incompetence and nonchalance that everyone else is exhibiting. It is the most important day of your life and this stylist just arrived with an eggshell veil, when you specifically said seashell.
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15. Even after all you had to go through, you look angelic this morning; and you will be counting those teardrops. Let it out boy, the maid of honour’s got tissues.
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