"Marry me! (and my family)".
The moment you meet your in-laws, there's constant pressure to be appropriate, accommodating, respectful and loving ALL at the same time….wait a sec, what does even mean? Does it mean you stop being who you are to suit the lifestyle of your new family? I have heard so many stories of family members moving in right after the wedding or mother-in-law's prolonged stay when they come visiting, which begs the question how much time is too much time for family visits? How long will your well-meaning kind gestures be termed as "eye service"? when exactly will familiarity begin to breed contempt? When will the proverbial hand shake extend past the hand to the elbow?
Distant but yet cordial best describe the solution for some to this palaver! Newlyweds and couples generally should be given the space and liberty to live their lives without the prying eyes, interference and unsolicited advice from family members. In trying to articulate my views I couldn't come up with a better name for this write up but "Distant but Cordial". Here's what a few people had to say on this issue;
"I made the cardinal mistake of allowing my mother over stay when she came to take care of myself and the new baby and she almost wrecked my home with her constant nagging and critics of my husband and i. according to her she wanted the best for me"
- Kemi 31
"my wife's brother has stayed with us before and after the wedding. Soon after the wedding I got a call from my sister asking permission to come stay with us, of course I politely declined and all hell was let loose, my wife was accused of influencing me, and the banter began. I had to ask my brother-in-law to leave to balance the equation".
- Uche 40
"I get along very well with my in-laws, same goes for my husband. Family and friends alike are allowed to visit but staying beyond one night is an absolute No! No!! Sound cruel but hey, that our position as at today".
- Opeyemi 45
So what's your take? How well do you get along with your in-laws?