Photo Credit: Instagram/Diyanu
Dating and courtship periods are the perfect time to ask certain questions before considering solidifying your significant other’s place in your life.
These questions may actually be valid and have the tendency to make or break your relationship. Have you considered the following questions?
- Why do you want to get married?
Make sure you are not getting married because your parents want you to marry into a big political family with lots of business operations around Lagos. Get married because you are in love with the person and make sure the feelings are mutual.
- Will you allow me to maintain my religion?
This is a make or break question and if there is no compromise, the marriage may go through lots of hurdles.
- Are you open to having children, how many if so?
If one partner wants to have children and the other does not, the marriage may not be successful if it ends up occurring. This is easily a make or break question. Questions about how to raise children and in what faith to raise them are important too.
- Is there something about your family I don’t know?
Marrying someone is to make them family. If you ask such a question and there is no disclosure when you heavily suspect something is going on in your significant other’s family fold, then there is a problem.
- Do you have issues with my family?
Ascertain if there are going to be problems with the in-laws before marriage; if there are, make sure it is something that can be quashed. If one side also does not like your choice of a future spouse, the marriage may not be successful. We often hear stories about a man breaking up with his girlfriend because his mum did not like her. Exit before things gets too messy.
- Do you speak about our relationship with other people?
There are some issues that should be left alone and should be dealt with between the couple and not friends and family. If your significant other is not willing to keep certain discussions private and keeps on allowing third parties into your relationship then the trust will diminish quickly.
- Can you speak to me about everything?
Your spouse in principle should be your best friend because that is who you will be spending the rest of your life with. If your fiancé hesitates to answer this, try to find out what the missing gaps are if any.
- What are your plans in the next five years?
Anyone that can not honestly include marriage, career and financial stability and possibly starting a family in this answer is not ready to get married and should not waste your time.
It's not too late to seek for the right answers before you say “I do”!