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Soap operas are sweet, but they don’t always happen in real life. Being in a long- distance relationship in Nigeria with a partner somewhere else in the world must be tough, but it is possible only if certain minimum standards exist.
Here are some questions to ask yourself before investing time into a long-distance relationship:
1. Can you afford it?
“Love is sweet, oh when money enters love is sweeter”! Davido OBO has been dropping gems in his lyrics, but we fail to realise it.
Long distance relationships require a yearly budget and an intentional effort to set money aside just to be with your significant other.
Take into consideration airtime, stable internet connection for video and audio calls, posting gifts from home and abroad, surprises, flight tickets and hotel expenses if you are going somewhere exotic for a holiday. This kind of relationship will work and be enjoyed with people of a certain income bracket.
2. What’s the distance?
Is the distance one where you don’t get worn out thinking about the commute? Consider whether the distance is practical to thrive in a proper relationship.
For example, a relationship between two people in Asia and Africa will be difficult but would only work if extra effort is being put in.
3. Are you a communicator?
Text messages and a few video and audio calls a day will work, but time difference adds a different dynamic to communication. When one partner is waking up, the other may just be retiring for the night. Some sacrifice must go into making sure communication occurs, and that may come in the form of deprived sleep for one party.
4. Does the relationship have a foundation?
People that have been dating for a while and already have a solid foundation may be able to do long distance practically rather than people that have just met and conversed a couple of times.
A certain amount of trust and loyalty must be built before engaging in a long-distance relationship.
5. Is this person replaceable?
Let’s face it; some people are not worth going the distance for. If you know your significant other does not treat you well or has a wandering eye, then there is no point being in a relationship with someone like this.
6. Are there better suitors lurking?
If you can live without your significant other and if you have potential suitors trying to get your attention, who will treat you well and partner better with you in life in your city, then what are you waiting for?
7. What’s the end game?
Healthy long-distance relationships should be temporary and should have an expiry date. They should ultimately lead to one partner joining the other or a marriage relationship rather than just years of casual dating and taking exotic trips. You never know if people like this are living double lives!
Having considered all of this, can you go the distance?