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Marrying from another ethnic group has been a long battle. The results have led to a lot of failed marriages while others are hanging on a thread.
If you're currently on this boat and it is starting to overwhelm you, here are some advice you can use:
Work Closely Together
Your priority is your spouse. Realizing this will help you both make better decisions. Consider your partner's opinion about disputes or issues that bother them first before any other.
For instance, your family holds a yearly party in your hometown or family house. However, this event is designed to embarrass your companion. Rather than convincing them to go, seek a better alternative. You can prove a point to your family members about this issue or excuse your spouse from attending the party.
Keep Relationships Simple
The relationship between your marriage, your family's and your in-laws should be kept simple. You can both show up at family functions (if it's comfortable), offer help through your spouses and be cordial with them.
Protect Your Partner
Some families are usually very hostile. You may have unsuccessfully tried to find a silver lining. If you notice you and your spouse's mental health is being affected, distance yourselves. You should also keep to yourselves when your families are getting in the way of your happiness.
No Third-Party Involvement
You should know by now that both parties would blame it on the culture of either family. So, make sure you avoid exposing your marriage to the scrutiny of the families. Try to settle your disputes between yourselves. In the case where it is overwhelming, talk to a counsellor or an unbiased friend.
Respect Each Other
Respecting your partner will allow you to reconsider making some decisions. You will notice the ease in settling disputes when you do this.
Be Firm
Being firm is one of the best ways to maintain a marriage laden with tribal wars. Whenever you both make a decision, make sure to stand by it. When you're communicating with family or in-laws, be clear about what you want. Having a supportive partner by your side even makes it a lot easier.
While these tribal wars can be very dangerous, what matters is how both of you react to it. The best ways to maintain this fit has always been staying together to make it work.