Marrying a person who has kids can be an exciting experience. One of the most common issues their partners have is how to treat their stepchildren. Should they be nicer, a little tougher or more strict? Or should they completely ignore their existence? Trying to build a great relationship can be difficult, but, it doesn't mean it's impossible.

Here are some tips that can help kickstart a bond between you and your stepchildren.

Don't overdo anything

Your stepchildren are smart. They know you may be ''desperate'' for their approval and would want to act on it. Sometimes their actions can be extreme. The best way to approach cases like this is not to overwhelm yourself by trying to please them. Take a break from your intentions and focus on addressing any issues one step at a time. 

Treat them as you will treat your kids

Just because they are not your flesh and blood doesn't mean they are any different. Treat them as equally as you will treat your kids. Understandably, you may have a favourite child. Sometimes, they are not your stepchildren. Try not to make this too obvious or else you'll be painting a bad picture in front of them. 

Work with your partner

You'll be needing your partner's help more than half of the time. 

He/she understands, to a certain extent, how their child is like. They can give you advice and tips on creating a relationship with your stepkids. More than often, they will be rooting for you. So, try not to exploit or take their trust for granted. 

Respect them

It's easier to have children from five years and below bond with you faster than older stepchildren. Realise that this is a gradual process and you need to have a lot of patience. During this period, respect them and their space especially if they need time to process everything. You want to make sure that you're in good terms with them even if you're not close. In cases where you don't give them the respect they need, you'll end up doing a lot more harm. 

Love them

You cannot get everyone to like you. No matter how hard you try, you may have stepchildren who do not like you. Understand that you cannot control whatever anyone feels about you. However, always love them. That's the only way to win in the end.