Dear Mr Sugar,
I wasn't really worried about marriage until I turned thirty, then it suddenly seemed like I was running out of time. Luckily, I met my fiancé a few months after my thirtieth birthday and we clicked instantly.
He's a bit of a traditionalist but other than that, we are so similar it is scary. When we were getting to know each other, I figured out that he earned less than I did so I downplayed how much I earned because I was a bit worried it would be a problem. Now that we are engaged, I feel like i've lived this lie and I want to tell him. What should I do?
- Titi
Dear Titi
I would like to say I understand why you felt you had to do this but that would be a lie. I think you should be more worried about his reaction to your lie than about the fact that you make more money than he does. The average Nigerian man today isn't as threatened by a woman's financial success as many would like to think. They make a fuss about it because they are worried about the disrespect that could come from their wife being the breadwinner. This might make him question the trust bonds you both share. I suggest you tell him and explain why you felt the need to downplay your success. Your marriage will be stronger because of it or you will be a stronger person who doesn't feel the need to hide facets of herself anymore. Your success is a good thing, you should wear it with pride.