Dear Sugar
I am a mother of two and married to a lovely husband. Recently, my husband has started teasing me about having another child. And what he doesn't know is that I have tied my tubes after having our second child.
Giving birth is not a joke for me at all, and I know how much I suffered from having those two kids. So I had it tied without informing him. Now, my issue is that it has gotten a lot intense, he keeps talking about having a third child and last time, I got angry with him insisting.
Since then he's been begging me. I don't know how to tell him I don't want kids again, and I tied my tubes to ensure no mistake like that happens.
Please keep me anon
Dear Anon,
How you feel about childbirth is very relatable. In fact, a large percentage of mothers all over the world have similar experiences and do not look forward to having more kids.
It's also understandable that your husband may not understand the extent of the emotional and physical damage childbirth has caused you.
Although this is your body, keeping him in the dark on your decisions and how you feel was a bad idea. Especially since you're both expected to keep each other aware of your individual plans.
In this case, you'll eventually need to sit him down and talk to him about everything, including your decision to tie your tubes. Even if your birth control option is reversible, it's clear you don't want to have kids again. More than your decision to tie your tubes, that's a huge conversation to have.
Since you understand how your husband receives information, find the best way and situation, that favours you to have this conversation. You should also be prepared for his reactions about his discovery.
In the end, if he is insistent on having children, you can bring up the option of adoption, or any other possibility that is favourable to the both of you.
Wishing you all the best,
Love,
Sugar