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Saying No to a proposal can be very tricky. You don’t want to say something that will make them feel inadequate or hurt their feelings but you also want to be honest about how you feel.
So how can you tell them you can’t accept their proposal without making them feel bad?
- Be Clear
As much as you’d like to be polite, be firm on your decision. Rather than going keeping mute about the issue, go with the words “I’m sorry but I cannot accept your proposal”
Remember getting married to the wrong person can be time-wasting and stressful. Choosing to avoid this doesn’t make you a bad person.
- You Don’t Owe Them An Explanation
Giving them an explanation would just make it a lot worse. Whatever your reason is, you don’t need to explain to them. It’s better to be quiet about your reason than lie about it.
- Be Objective
Instead of using their personal traits as a reason to reject their proposal, choose to be objective about it. if you do the latter, it will seem like a personal attack, making them feel like they are incompetent.
- Tell Them In Secret
In the case of public proposals, rejecting their offer in open can be very embarrassing for both parties.
If you'd rather avoid the attention that comes from this embarrassment, you can choose to say these words:
“Out of respect for you and myself is the reason why I accepted in public, but now that we’re here together alone, I cannot proceed with the engagement”
- Be Honest
Yes, a lot of people may advise that you tweak your statements a little or that you should tell a white lie. The downside to this is that it may have a rippling effect on how they perceive you as a person.
You may decide to not be bothered by what they think. However, nothing is as dignifying as them respecting you because of your sincerity.
- You’re Not Being Rude.
For starters, you shouldn’t feel bad about refusing a proposal. Consider the fact that you’ll be unhappy in the relationship.
So, when you eventually do reject a proposal, you’re not being rude. However, if they keep insisting, you should think about withdrawing from them as it may be more of an intense obsession rather than love.
One thing is certain; you won’t be able to change how they feel. However, the intensity depends on how well you’ve been able to manage the situation.