Dear Sugar,
I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about five years. Recently, he started talking to me about an open relationship. When I first heard it, I was infuriated. It felt like I was not enough. All of these has started to make me question whether he found someone better or he's cheating, and he wants to make the cheating ''official.''
He still keeps insisting, stating that his reason is to ''spark up the relationship.'' I don't know much about open relationships, but I don't subscribe to sharing my boyfriend with someone else.
I don't know what to do. . . should I break up or go ahead with it, since that's the only thing he keeps talking about these days.
P.S: I am head over heels in love, and breaking up will hurt me, considering that I have invested a lot into it.
Keep me anon.
Dear Writer,
It's understandable to feel this way. For starters, your relationship has always been closed, so it will feel strange to receive such requests.
Open relationships often require a lot more transparency. The general rules are that you and your partner reveal the identity of the person/people you're planning to date. Depending on your agreement, there's a specific limit to the number of people you should date.
In any case, it's clear that you do not find it appropriate, and while you may be thinking of compromising, you must be extremely certain of what you're getting into.
If you have done your research and still don't find it worthwhile, you will need to have a conversation with your partner, to decide your futures. You should weigh your pros and cons and see whether the relationship will still work, assuming you agree.
If you don't see it working, then you might have to face the inevitable, especially if he is adamant about his decision for an open relationship. Understand that thought processes and dispositions changes, and if you're no longer in sync, there's no point continuing the relationship.
All the best,
Love,
Sugar
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