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Dear Sugar,
I recently got married and I must say that I'm starting to regret making the decision too early. My wife joined a new church soon after we moved to a new place and she has suddenly become very involved.
We can't have proper conversations without her saying some religious quotes or talking about Jesus. It's starting to get to me, it's not like I'm not a Christian but I don't understand why she has to take it far. I also got really upset when she went to church this Sunday even with the whole Corona Virus issue. What do I do to get her back? It's honestly affecting my relationship with her because we don't talk as we used to.
Kayode
(actual name withheld)
Dear Kayode,
Having to fight for your relationship can be really stressful, especially when your wife doesn't see that she's hurting you. You should sit her down to have a conversation about this. At the moment, it would seem to her that you're transferring unnecessary aggressions if you haven't sat down to have a proper talk with her.
When you both finally have your meet, make sure you point at how her new activity is affecting your marriage. Try not to go overboard by insulting her personal choices, rather, focus on the issues; like how you both aren't having great conversations any more. You may find out something you didn't know from this.
Also, understand that a lot of things can change. If she is as invested in the marriage as you are, she will be willing to reduce the amount of attention she puts in church, however, you shouldn't expect that she completely stops or go back to her past approach to being a Christian.
Consider setting times that will strictly be for just you two. You may call it a safe space-time. In the end, if you handle it with care and love, you'll definitely get back your love.
Wishing you all the best
Love,
Sugar