Dear Sugar,
I have been married for over five years, and in between all of this, we've been seriously working to leave the country. We've done everything we can think of at the moment, but nothing is working.
A few weeks ago, my husband started chatting with a woman in the U.S who offered to marry him so he can secure the papers.
He thinks it's the best way to get out. He believes that he can bring me over when everything gets settled.
But I am not comfortable with this, and he has since been blackmailing me emotionally, telling me that I am the reason we are stuck in the country. I don't know what to do.
Please keep me anon.
Dear Anon,
This can be quite a tough decision to make. But, before you decide, you may need to ask yourself these questions:
- How important is the need to leave the country?
- Will your husband's decision to leave without you affect your relationship with him?
- Can you live with him being in another country with someone else?
Marriage sometimes requires that you compromise or make sacrifices. There's a 60 per cent chance that something might go wrong, especially with things related to emotions and relationships. Your husband may be unable to secure his papers, especially if the woman in question has ulterior motives. He may also get overwhelmed with many issues that may make it a lot more difficult to get you to him. The 40 per cent chance will happen only if things go smoothly.
In any case, it's a big risk that you're both taking. Understand that your husband is wrong for blackmailing you emotionally because of it. There's a chance that he may continue doing this unless you both sit down to have a long conversation on it.
Even though there's an instance of it working out, you must be convinced about your decision without any emotional external influence.
Wishing you the best,
Love,
Sugar
Photo Credit: Nilsen Immigration Law